I'm rehearsing for some kind of massive performance of a piece by Benjamin Britten (at least, in my dream it's by him, but he would never write something like this. It was more like Tan Dun). There were dancers with props, several choirs, vocal soloists, a massive orchestra, and we were all in the Northwestern College RSC gym where they hold graduation ceremonies. There was a tiny space in the very back for an audience.
I was a vocal soloist, along with a girl at IU I'll call M (because they forgot to hire them and me and M were closest to the conductor). I had the soprano part. It was mostly high Es in half and whole notes. I think it was 3/2 time. When I tried to sing (an E is normally no problem for me) my voice was small and airy, like I had some phlegm in my throat. I couldn't clear it.
Then later I was a dancer. I lost my props at one point, but then my friend and I discovered that some jackass tenor had stolen them for no good reason. So we had to find them and run through backstage (yes, the gym apparently had a backstage) to get away from the angry tenor. One of my props was a broom and dustpan. I think there was also a baton. Several of my high school classmates were also dancers. The rehearsal went fine, but during the performance I was late to my position because the damn tenor stole my props again. I ended up on the other side of the dance floor (which, by the way, was as far away from the audience as possible) where the choreography was different.
After the performance we (several of my friends from the performance) ended up in a tiny theater listening to some dude talk. At some point the dude talking was interrupted by a bum saying he was trying to sleep. Anyway, somehow I ended up at my friend K's house (K is a friend from IU). Our mutual friend N was living there with his boyfriend, whom I thought was named Gil (the name of Oscar's boyfriend from "The Office"). Apparently N didn't think I knew he was gay, so he was trying to seduce me for some reason. When he was trying to kiss me, I stopped him and told him I saw the purple bathtub stenciled on his wall and I had met Gil, so he could stop leading me on. Then I went into K's room, which was AWESOME. It was filled with plants. She had one part of the room partitioned off by shelves full of plants so she could feel like she was in the jungle.
Ok, starting to forget the dream now. But I know there was more weirdness. Something about a giant pickle.
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dreams
Though Facebook has been a great way for me to network with other musicians, keep in touch with distant (geographically, not emotionally) family members and friends, and keep up on what's happening in my clique, one of the evils of Facebook that I fell to was online gaming. I can admit it now: I am addicted to an MMORPG.
Sorority Life started as a joke. It was hilarious to be able to "terminally depress" other players by whittling down their "confidence." I loved that I could buy Dolce and Gabanna dresses with my fake currency for my virtual avatar named Amberlene (the ditziest sorority girl name I could come up with). I'm not sure how it turned into something I had to play every day, for several hours each day. I don't remember when I started having dreams about Sorority Life. I know I started to play a few months after Ryan and I started dating, and by that summer it was the first thing I did whenever I got on a computer.
I made it to level 171. I had over a billion dollars in my bank account. I had several limited edition items in my wardrobe. I had over 180 sorority sisters. I had the power to fight and win against players with twice as many sisters in their house. I regularly checked a website that had tips and cheats for the game. I became Facebook friends with over 100 people who also played Sorority Life-- people I have never met and will never meet, people who are addicts like me.
Despite my power inside the game, Sorority Life was taking away my willpower to control my real life. When entertaining people at my house I would sneak into our office to play Sorority Life. Instead of reading a book for class or doing homework I would sit in front of the TV with the computer in my lap, wasting hours listening to a show while trying to level up. Even when Ryan was home and he wanted to hang out, my version of "hanging out" was sitting in front of the TV with my computer in my lap playing Sorority Life while he sat next to me, sometimes looking over my shoulder, sometimes making fun of me.
I tried to quit a couple of times. The first time I just removed the application and all the Sorority Life "friends" I had made. This time, I decided to remove the power I had in the game as well. About an hour ago I sold all my rare, hard-to-find, no-longer-available items. I removed all my sisters from my house. I quit my "job" so my avatar would no longer earn money. I tried to make it hard for me to want to play again, to have the same level of power in the game. Hopefully this time I can stay away for good.
